# 1220 – The RA and AssGM Changeover Hash

Hash Trash #1220 — RA and AssGM changeover Hash

Great hashers shattered Double-0-Dirk’s hope of keeping them in GZ Hash. Fortunately GM put other hashers in their shoes in force. Fuck off you wanks: Sir Cum Navigator, Globetwatter, Easy 2 Lei and Furry Thing.

 

Bus was totally full when we got on and waited for the beer to come. The ICE was so angry to wait for BEER that some of them became water and run away.

 

And in surprise, I found the hares were not in Mango Bar. I started to doubt whether the Kiwis could cum up with something extraordinary if we hash in Baiyun Mountain where they set trails at every corner. Well, sometimes something happen when you think how it could happen.

 

We took the cable-car to Baiyun Mountain!!! Though Sir Cum Navigator accused one hasher’s fool idea—take cable-car to the summit then join other hashers to B point in the past, this time the KIWIs took the main part of the charges of cable-car for all the hashers!!! When we sat in the cable-car, Furry Thing said ”this way, you are never going to catch the hares.” For the two hares were in the one before us. While Angelina Blow Me totally forgot the hash/hares, she was so nervous that her forehead was shinning all the time when we were in the air, though her towel was busily fighting with the beads of sweet. The KIWIs gave her first time taking cable-car.

 

In the past, the KIWIs had led us to Baiyun Mountain, through holes or climbing wall, without any fee. On hash 1219#, police light was shinning for Sir Cum Navigator, he went into the trap and didn’t handle it well. To those hashers didn’t know the details: go back time and join the 1219 hash!! On hash 1220, did he think:”no more police lights. This time I will pay the charge, pay 5 times as the charges, avoid any crime-reporter hashers notice the police what I did in the past to strap me in GZ hash longer.” So they bribed us by pay the cable-Car? Fuck off you wanks. We GZ hashers are good people, won’t take any bribery, just if you can set a masterpiece trail for 1221# hash in GZ will keep all GZ hashers shut up on your crime.

 

How much the KIWIs love Guangzhou!!! Globetwatter even went to the place where she broke her arm and said good-bye to it. The last trail they set in Guangzhou including that part again.

 

Circle Up

 

I found a rule that they liked to begin Circle up when I was not there!!! Not earlier, not later, once I went to change clothes, they started the circle-up!!!

 

Parts of accusations:

GM, double-O-dirk accused the RA, Sir Cum Navigator, for last hash’s police light show up, and this time the police showed up again to throw us out of the lake.

Nations: the GM called one representative of one country, there were 20!!! Hash Union!! Do not ask me the names: I can’t remember 20 things at one time.

GM accused GPS and Natalie and Natalie’s date, for when GPS saw her in the Mango Bar, he said ”you always show up with a different guy.” That’s a good way to say hello.

Furry Thing accused Easy 2 Lei: since they showed up again after their fuck off hash in last week, they were sitting on ice. During the ice time, Easy 2 Lei complain why his hash shorts were shorter than theirs of Furry Thing and Sir Cum Navigator. Furry Thing hoped the ice helped Easy 2 Lei become harder and longer.

Miley’s christening: Miley, Furry Thing and RA all would fuck off. As a long-time name giver, our Religious Adviser, Sir Cum Navigator had his last Beer Baptism in Guangzhou, to let Miley remember the date before she went to America with Furry Thing. Religious Adviser, drawing the cross on her head with the cold beer, publicly announced:” Miley is dead, since now and forever when hashers are together, she is known as Swinging Tits.”

First hash marriage: Furry Thing and Swinging Tits, before the wanks all fuck off, Religious Adviser, Sir Cum Navigator hold the ceremony and announced they were a hash couple from now on.

Race for AssGM: there is a race of drinking beer between Angela Blew Me, GPS, Circle Jerk and Hunkaspunk, the old AssGM, Globetwatter was the judge. How could they announce the race on spot??? There is no time to bribe!!! Circle Jerk was the winner and is the new AssGM in GZ hash now.

Race for RA: this time the race was between: Hunkaspunk, Papasan, Constipation and Gorf. The time the winner was Hunkaspunk announced by the judge, old RA Sir Cum Navigator. The new RA in GZ hash is Hunkaspunk!!!! Do we need full-time hash translator in future GZ Hash? (good point, Titty Tattle. The GM)

 

Those standing hash runners please stand up if you are not scared to be caught by slow hashers. On one day, GZ Hash lost 4 hares, we need more hashers to be hares!!!!

 

On On

 

Titty Tattle

 

# 1213 & 1214 – The Kiwis Fuck Off Hash Weekend

Hash Trash #1213 &1214 —the Kiwis’ fuck off Hash

It is difficult to say farewell to those outstanding hashers and contributors to the Guangzhou hash, so they say: fuck off you wanks.

 

For the two days hash in Yingde, around 70 hashers CUM and said “fuck off you wanks” to Sir Cum Navigator and Globetwatter. Some came from Taiwan, such as Filthy Habits, and Soggy Biscuit from America. As well a new hash record was made in Hash history—we have the youngest one joined the hash, Pin Head brought his family to hash, his wife and 3-months old daughter.  And 3-months daughter did the hash trail in her mum’s arm.

 

On the Friday bus, Sir Cum Navigator talked with Shoeless Hole about the fuck-off hash in Yingde for Meatballs, “ you wanted it to rain, there was no one drop. When you didn’t want it to rain, it pulled down heavy rain.”  That’s true. Just they both didn’t know, the show would have a second action. When you run, the weather could be wonderful, it was misty with occasionally decorative drizzle, it was so wonderfully run in that background that you could imagine the possibility that you could meet some gods/goddesses at the back of the mountains. Then after the run, swim in, it was the circle time, then it poured down noisy cats and dogs. The rain was so heavy that you couldn’t have seen the gods/goddesses even if they stand just before you.

 

As you know, the bus always leaves Mango bar at 2PM. But you possibly don’t know that the hash bus has to follow the rule: 2PM is the time for bus to leave for hash. On Saturday, around 12:15, the call from Saturday bus said they were around 15km from the A point. So GM tried to notice every hashers in the hotel: the bus will leave the hotel 12:45 to the A point, instead the earlier notice that 1:30PM. So the hashers had lunch and ready to go before 12:30. They waited to 12:45, …… to 1PM, …….to 1:30PM, the bus or the GM didn’t move a little. Till 2PM, the buses started the journey to Hash 1213 ‘s A point. According to Easy to Lei, the Saturday bus hide at some corner till 2PM to arrive at the hotel. The 2PM is the rule has to follow.

 

In the misty weather during the raining season, the best side of the lime stone formation shows up. The village, the river, and here-and-there rocky mountains are all clear and also obscure, The lime stone cave offered the natural air- conditioning. They were wonderful trails, with best beer-stop in GZ hash history. On Saturday’s hash, we had a beer-stop in one of them—in Guan Yin Bodhisatttva valley—which is quite light, not dark lime stone cave as common ones, and quite cool. On Sunday’s hang over run, we had a beer-stop on the top of one of the mountains. It was my first time to be on top of a lime stone mountain, I stayed there for long time though I didn’t drink the beer, feeling so great that I was totally relaxed, I guess that partly explains why later many hashers got lost after the beer-stop, totally relaxed and enjoyed that feeling, and still was absorbed in that feeling after left that point and got to check the trail. Seem as it is a good idea for hares to set up too beautiful trails with the great view platform, it will make some hashers become lazy and forget the trails.

 

On that Saturday, I really understand how important is it to pause at the right words, such as the big-fruit market or the big fruit-market.  (GPS bought some banana, then they discussed the market belongs to which one.)

 

Once again, I found the hash is not only physical exercise, also mental exercise that you have to decide when you can trust other hashers and when you can’t. If you don’t trust them at all, that means you need to check at every check-circle, back-check, wrong-trail, lots of job to do. If you trust them well, then you may have more work to do— get lost and find where is the B point, because some times, the hashers didn’t go long enough, or didn’t open their eyes well, etc. they offered the wrong information. Who you can trust has no matter with their hash experiences, nationality, age and gender, etc… so the HASH is IQ test too.

 

Circle Up??? Or circle sit down /make-up circle

 

On Saturday, after hashers On-In, most of them sitting at the river side, it took a little time to brought them up, and they all stood up for quite short while, they all sit down again.

 

The GM, Double-O-Dirk brought up the hares, Furry Thing, Gorf and Circle Jerk, for their wonderful trails. Then brought up the RA, Sir Cum Navigator, he let Khash sit on the ice. His third accusation was not finished yet, when the noisy dogs and cats poured down from the sky, nobody could hear what he was talking no matter how loud he was shouting. It was bad??? The worse was the wind became stronger and stronger, raining became heavier and heavier. GPS stood behind Floppy Disk like a chicken under the protection of a hen. The shortest 1st part of circle I ever have seen.

 

Hashers sit down again, in bus, dripping from the face to the feet. We back hotel, sat at the dinner tables, the 2nd part of circle started.

 

On Hang over hash, actually I didn’t sure it was hang over hash or some make-up hash, Shoeless has his beautiful red skirt—what a pity that beautiful skirt was on him–the skirt totally deserved some good thing, Furry Thing had his pink apron, holding a pen and pad, writing down what dishes those hashers should become to. At the circle time, Filthy Habits became a soft lady wearing three-points swimming suit, while Soggy Biscuit became hot red hair lady with red three-points showing suit, of course, the KIWIs were sheep with mesh stockings.

 

Parts of accusations:

Hares: Furry Thing, Gorf and Circle Jerk of Saturday and Globetwatter, Sir Cum Navigator and Thumbprints of Sunday.

Shoeless Hole: he was honored “the most disgusting sexy mind” by Sir Cum Navigator, because Friday bus, he talked some disgusting sexy jokes that any common human thought that it was too disgusting to listen. By the way, I have a suggestion to those married men: do not talk any sexy jokes in details, because in listeners’ ear, it sounds the married man are talking about his sexy life with his wife. That’s sick.

Filthy Habits: he showed the picture of his big dog in Taiwan during Saturday’s morning coffee time, while Fire in the Hole played with her two Chiwawas.

Hash Family: during the GZ hash time, Sir Cum Navigator and Globetwatter not only became the outstanding hashers, they also made a Hash Family, their hash sons: Hunkaspunk, Pinhead and Soggy Biscuit, their hash daughters: Thumbleprints and Screwer.

Filthy Habits and Soggy Biscuit: what they do after their fuck off Guangzhou hash? Filthy went to Taiwan and get married, Soggy Biscuit is seeing some lady and is thinking about marriage, too. What the KIWIS are going to do? They will expect Guangzhou hashers to visit them in NewZealand, and they guarantee they will offer tents for Guangzhou hashers for only 50RMB per night.

Gorf: Pixie Slut accused Gorf for something, but it ended with her screaming, because Gorf put her on his shoulder, singing a song: put her left leg on my shoulder, put her right leg on my shoulder, while dancing. That’s made Pixie Slut was so nervous that the only thing she could do was screaming.

Himalaya and TWO-BALLS: the best match in hash, as well, it is so clear that why her hash name is Himalaya. Just seem as TWO BALLS had a twin brother, NO BALLS.

Pixie Slut: for the wonderful dress she made for Filthy Habits, Soggy Biscuit and the Kiwis.

Filthy Habits: he left Guanghzou Hash some long time ago, though he was one of the best runners in Guangzhou hash, but now the Guangzhou hash is a little too hard for him. Any way his patent’s on-on calling is still the same. O………………………………………………………..N…………………………..O……………………N

Khash: he was so happy to sit on ice for the weather was really hot, as well Thumbleprints put some water on him to help him to get cool. But double-o-dirk was not happy to let him sit on ice on Sunday because we didn’t have enough ice, he preferred to have that only piece of ice for beer instead for Kash’s ass. Before the ice totally disappeared, Khash had his beer baptism, and Sir Cum Navigator honored him as JELLY BABY, for instead of Himalaya, he has Kilimanjaro on his breast, as a man, he let many women envy his breast.

 

Globetwatter and Sir Cum Navigator: fuck off you went. The mismanagement will say it often: fuck off you Kiwi wanks, if they were here, things would be much different

 

On On

 

Titty Tattle

 

# 1207 – The Scientific Hash

Hash Trash #1207—the Scientific Hash

How to decide a hash is good or the best: come to the definition—hares and hounds

 

When the bus left to Baiyun Mountain, every hasher was thinking:” a piece of cake.” While this was a scientific hash—scientist can make the sophisticated become simple, as well can make the simple become sophisticated. Everything depends on mental. The smartest hares can puzzle the hounds with clear clues where they go, while the smartest and very experienced hounds get lost when there were clear ARROWS showing directions.

 

At the beginning, everything was quite common, the two hares Globetwater and Sir Cum Navigator left to set the trail, 15 minutes later the runners were checking and calling “On On”, walkers were following. It was a beautiful trail, and I guess every hasher was quite relaxed—nobody was worrying about what should be done if getting lost in Baiyun Mountain with a circle trail. Then at one point, 90% hashers got lost. And the amazing thing happened—those experienced walker- hashers, including LaziJi, GPS, saw the arrows, but they took the opposite direction of the arrow. So they follow the flour and met some runners and back to the point where marked “w” and “R”. Later the most miraculous thing happened—all the runners got lost, except one, Hunkaspunk, who was the last hasher back to Circle.  This was the best hash, the most miraculous hash.

 

I totally understand why the 90% got lost—because no hasher worried if getting lost. They would think “ok, let’s find a way back to the beginning, it is easier to walk on the concrete road than the hash trail and will be shorter too.”

 

A small suggestion to hares who like to puzzle hounds that it is smart to set a “back-check” mark which is not more 5 meters far away from the right trail, when the first one found and shout “back check”, the followers were still on the right trail. But they back and check and some will get lost. J 

 

Circle Up

 

GM, Double-O-Dirk, brought up the RA, Sir Cum Navigator, and then kept silent for long time: pondering over where I started to lost the trail???

 

Parts of accusations:

New Comers: 4 New comers. But they were so special: one, brought by Globetwater, came to hash, but do not want to climb up the Baiyun Mountain, he liked to go to the southern gate and take Cable Car to the Mountain top. The other one made a long advertisement for his business during the 4 questions.

Furry Thing, Double-O-Dirk, Wee Willy and Fire In The Hole: the first 3 runners didn’t know where they got lost, but someone did know where he found the trail again, left the concrete road after he heard Fire In the Hole’s “On-On” calling on the right trail.

Wee Willy: Double-O-Dirk and Wee Willy got lost, so they discussed how to back the A point. “Let’s take Taxi.” “no, no, we can take bus.” We are hashers, so we should take the cheap way.  As well Wee Willy hared for 6 times and got a free and special designed hare’s short pants.

Geeta: generally if you ask the direction where to go in India, the answer would be “go ahead.” But the Hindu Geeta, with hash experience of several months, did not just go ahead. She did follow the marks and arrows on the trail and lead her group on the right trail, no one of them got lost.

Hunkaspunk: he was the last runner back to Bus, but he was the one who all the time on the runners-trail, which was around 14km.

 

Notice: 11 May will be Annual Red Dress run.

 

On On

 

T. T.

 

# 1203 – The Triple Hash

Hash #1203—the triple hash

 

It is said that you can’t cross the same river twice. In the past, I always doubted it, but after my short hibernation in the winter season and back hash, I started to believe it—it was full of hashers in Mango Bar, we needed 2 buses. Well it is mismanagement, so 1 bus plus 7 taxis instead of 2 buses. 

 

Since my hibernation had separated me from hash for a while, it made my ears being numb to English words during the hash. Here are some gossips I think I got.

 

On On

As you know, generally the hares start to set the trail once the bus arrives at the A point. Well, this time the hares have to wait because some taxis get lost when they try to find the A point, unfortunately one hare was in one of the lost taxis.

 

When they explained the lengths of the trails, I find there are at least 3 versions of the lengths. But I do believe them all because you know there are 3 hares. Each version could be right. And Gorf told Thumbelprints and Globetwatter:” they say the short trail is good, the long one is good, seem as the middle one is a little boring, so if your energy is ok, take the long one.”  And if you have any doubt about the trail if it is wonderful, well you should know that Gorf has a sprained ankle on the trail, it must because the view takes his eyes and let him forget his feet.

 

Circle Up

I missed the beginning of the circle. The GM Double-o-Dirk is already as an audience and RA Sir Cum Navigator is rambling of some accusations while a lady hasher is sitting on ice.

 

Parts of accusations:

  • Ø  New comers: I don’t know who they are and where they are from, because there are record new comers: I think around 20.
  • Ø  Bath series: seems as Itchy & Scratchy had a bath with Thumbelprints, Easy to Lei and Gorf together, and it caused a series of accusations on the bath story, such as rubbing, picture, etc.
  • Ø  Floppy Disk and Russian: seems as he is moving to Russia, and the Russian ladies should be careful and close the door and window. — sounds as we have a thief????
  • Ø  Amanda: who is sitting on ice from the beginning of the circle to the end of the endless circle, because she has two special things. And men hasher hope to touch the two special things and lady hasher hope to have the special things, well not all hopes come true, so they wet the two special things through beer again and again.  under the Baptism by Regional Adviser, she is known as Him-A-Lay-A. Amanda come and Him-A-Lay-A left.

 

Though the circle time is endless long with accusations, but those prosecutors did missed the felony: fraud. In Wikipedia, the definition of fraud: is an intentional deception made for personal gain or ….. Those English—teacher hashers, do you have subject on how to write? Do you earn salary for the teaching? Yes. Yes. Do you really know how to write? Why you never spend 0.5h to write a hash trash??

 

On On

 

T . T

 

#1180 – The Unobstrusive Hash

Hash #1180

 

What a clear and short advertisement we had. To comply with the advertisement, this hash trash has to be short. So here is the hash trash should be:” we were on the bus, runners off the bus, walkers off the bus, on the beautiful trails, had circle, on the bus and back.”

 

In case there are gossips in hashers like to gossip the hash, so here were some gossips:

On On

As you know, you find and flow the flour, and you call “on on” when you see the flour. You hashers don’t expect some pioneers back to you and hold your hands:”follow me, here is the trail.” But as a experienced hasher, GPS is exceptional. When we were on the high grass trail—there is a clear walkway hiding the grass and each flour in 3 meters on the trail, GPS anxiously kept calling Shit Hole Millionaire in every 5 seconds:”where are you? Where is the trail?” according the sounds, he was behind Shit Hole Millionaire less than 50 meters, just because the grass and bush blocked the sight of pioneers or the trail, to expect them back and hold your hands to tell you how to move next step??

 

As there were runners trail, runners got off at A1 point, which was not far from Face Plant, and walkers trail, walkers got off A2 point. To those runners who got off at A1 point, of course, I thought they wanted to have some longer run time. But that was wrong. For one runner, he got off just because he thought he knew how to walk to B point where he thought was. So one strange thing happened that the lost clearly knew why and how and when he got lost. When all the runners and walker were still on the trail, he continued to call them and asked “where is the real B point?” for he was ready to get a motor, which could run much faster than the fastest hasher runner, so the lost man arrived at B point quite early.

 

Circle Up

“Circle up.” “Circle up.” Globetwater had to speak it again and again near the ears of hashers; they were having their small circle, comfortably sitting and chatting.

The GM–damn it, it is Grand Master, not the common GM—brought up the hares, Globetwater and Cir Cum Navigator, for the long and beautiful trails. Then he kindly offered Mark a piece of ice to sit on.

 

Parts of accusations:

  • Ø  Constipation: the short hash advertisement surprised the Grand Master, as well Constipation, the hare razor. He had thought he was supposed to be the hare
  • Ø  Mark: accused by several hashers, for he had a birthday party in last Friday evening, strange things happened. Such as: 1/Gorf left his apartment around 6 and Mark went to bed at 5AM, what happened in that 1 hour? 2/his GF lay on the table, while he tried to get on, but failed. 3/happy birthday.
  • Ø  A new comer: though the two hares are standout for the long-and-hard trails, but the new comer needs more exercise after the trail.
  • Ø  The European: for the EU won the Nobel Peace Prize. If I knew they care about Nobel so much, I should have taken a piece of Ceramic tile, then everyone can have a piece of Nobel, which is the brand of the ceramic tile.
  • Ø  Mark: sitting on the ice, enjoyed his ice time: smoke, beer and accusation all were there for him. Other hashers had beer–bath when they were on ice, while Mark had a beer Spa. I doubt if there were 10 hasher really drunk their beer when they took the “down down”, though the circle time was long and long. The hashers gave Mark a beer Spa. And the Religious Adviser Sir Cum Navigator gave him Baptism, under the ice water, he was named “Furry Thing” for he is a furry thing. Whenever hashers gather, he will be known as Furry Thing. Mark came, Furry Thing left.

 

On On

 

T . T

 

#1179 – The Readmegate Hash

Hash 1179

Date: 6th October 2012

Place: Luo Gang  (蘿崗)

Hare: OODirk & Mark

Weather: Sunshine

Temperature: 19℃ ~31℃

 

Today when we were at mango, our hash bar was still under construction. During these days without mango, we could not spend our hash nights for weeks in GZ. So I asked OODirk when the construction in mango would be finished. OODirk told me the work would be finished on 10th of October but OODirk also told me he did not believe the work would be done by 10th of October as there were only a few days away and it looks to have more works done by 10th of October.

 

Today some of our regular hashers had not come back from their holidays yet but some of hashers who had left GZ Hash were taking holiday in Guangzhou so that they could join our GZ hash today.

 

Before the trail:

Today’s trail was A to B and it was a live trail. After the hares was away to set the trail in 15 minutes later, Hunka Spunk yielded ONON and then we started the trail.

 

On the trail:

Today’s trail was very nice, which was not too long and not difficult either. So we all came back to the B point by 6 and no one got lost.

 

On the circle:

After the hares had been accused for a drink, then our GM OODirk brought up today’s RA- Hunka Spunk. The accusations on the circle were the following, which was partly but not all:

 

l         New comers – there was 2 new comers as well as 1 potential new comer, who was Globe Ball and Lisa’s unborn child as Lisa was pregnant.

l         Returnee- Globe Ball, Lisa & Bogie Night etc.

l         OO-Dirk accused his co-hare Mark for a lazy hare as Mark always chose to do the easy job and let OODirk to do the difficult job for him.

l         OO-Dirk accused Simon & Constipation for Simon being Constipation’s doctor. Constipation was hangover last night. After Simon gave some treatments to Constipation on the bus, then Constipation became a front runner today.

 

….

 

After the circle:

We had a hash dinner on the run site.

 

ON ON

 

Sunshine

 

#1178 – The Missing Hare Hash

Hash 1178

Date: 29th September 2012

Place: Luo Gang  (蘿崗)

Hare: Omar

Weather: Sunshine

Temperature: 22℃ ~30℃

 

Today was the long Golden Week Holiday Eve in China. Since some hashers were working today and some hashers had been away for holiday, there were only 26 hashers including the hare to join our GZ hash. So there were quite a few empty seats left on our bus today.

 

Before the trail:

Today’s trail was preset and we met the hare at the A point. The trail was A to B and the hare refused to tell us where the B point was but he left two clues to us: he just drew down a “False trail” and a “Back check” before the trail.

 

On the trail:

Today’s trail was very strange. There was no walkers’ and runners’ split on the trail but you could incidentally find a shortest way so today the walkers came back to B point at the first place and those front runners came back at the last.

 

As far as the hare explained, he supposed we would have a long trail in the mountain and then we all would come to a “circle” to find the way back to the B point. So who could find the last “circle” at first, and then who could came back to the B point first.

 

On the circle:

After our GM OO-Dirk got the hare-Omar on ice for his naming today, he brought up today’s RA-Mark. The accusations on the circle were the following, which was partly but not all:

 

l  New comers – just 2.

l  Returnee- Drilled & Filled, Doctor Jack-Off etc.

OO-Dirk accused Simon for the first time to be a front runner today.

OO-Dirk accused Judy for always coming to hash with Johnny but Johnny was not showing up today as Johnny was working so she shown up with Johnny’s brother.

OO-Dirk accused Laziji and her sister for having a same English name- Sue.

Hunka spunk gave a hash name to Omar as “Circle Jerk”.

….

 

After the circle:

We had a hash dinner on the run site.

 

ON ON

 

Sunshine

#1177 – The Best B Bool Hash

Hash 1177

Date: 22nd September 2012

Place: Mao Feng Mountain  (帽峰山)

Hare: Constipation & Hunka spunk

Weather: Sunshine

Temperature: 23℃ ~32℃

 

Today our bus could not load us all again so we need another 3 taxies in addition to our bus to take us to the run site.

 

Before the trail:

Today we were arrived at the A point at 3pm. Our GM OODirk gave the hares 15 minutes ahead to set the live trail for us. So the hares left us at 10 minutes past 3 and we started the trail at 25 minutes past 3 sharp.

 

On the trail:

Today’s trail was dangerous. So we took a shortcut to avoid the dangerous trail. We did not cross the river in danger and we found another safe trail instead…

 

When we arrived at the runner’s and the walker’s split, the dogs were barking on the walkers’ trail so I talked to Simon to take the runners trail today. But Simon said no since Constipation told him before the trail we must choose the walkers’ trail today as the runners trail would be very long and difficult. So we took the walker’s trail but we took cares and tried to pass the dogs slowly in order not to angry the dogs.

 

We came back to the B point at 6pm and the circle has been started already.

 

On the circle:

The accusations on the circle were the following, which was partly but not all:

 

OO-Dirk made an announcement on the circle there would be a full-moon on the 28th of September

Floppy Disk accused the hares to congratulate for taking us to a such beautiful place …

Hunka spunk accused Michelangelo for being an Italian but wearing a T-shirt with an English flag logo on it.

Constipation was wearing new shoes today so he needs to drink beer out of the shoes. As “one hare drinks then all the hares drink”, so Hunka Spunk also needs to drink the beer with Constipation.

….

 

After the circle:

We had a hash dinner on the run site.

 

ON ON

 

Sunshine

1176 – The Steuben Parade Hash

Hash #1176 —phoenix hash

Around phoenix, saw the small dragon twice, how lucky I am.

The Mango Bar, it was so different that my first thought was what the Hashers did to Mango Bar. There were no tables, no chairs. No hashers were sitting except Thumbleprincess. The ground was in such a mess that to walk on it, you have to watch out your feet. Well, nothing bad happened, a new Mango Bar is coming. It is undering repairing.

 

Though the Mango Bar was in a mess, hashers didn’t mind it. And they made the bus in a mess too, because there were too many hashers that some of them had to stand up—whether they hate French is unclear—not in a good order as trained soldiers would do.

 

On On

“Off the bus.” It was no problem. But we were not going to take bus??? It was so near the bus stop that several buses passed us and stopped during the introducing the rules to new comers.

 

Though the two hares, Mark and Bastian, are not experienced hare, they decided to be live hares. ??? They wanted to be caught by good runners? They wanted to make most of hashers to be lost as Hunkaspunk did? Or they wanted to show off how fast they could run? Based on the end, their third aim came true: they did show off well, but no bonus. If you want to show off how fast you can run with prize, join the Marathon at Guangzhou in November. The prize is 40 000, not RMB, in dollars. J If any hashers win, please buy all hashers dinner as a celebration.

 

Generally the hash trails were easy part, up and down, runner trail and walker trail. This time they set differently, it was up, continued going up, going up, then how tall you go up, you have to come down. The worst was you had to repeat it again. And the amazing part was the second runner trail was parallel to walker trail, it was 1 meter from each other. And because of this, it made me totally confused after we arrived at the summit of Phoenix Mountain, for we had to take a U turn-back, and I thought it was the extended part of the two parallel trails.

 

It was the first time in the hash advertisement noticed the snake since I received them. Then first time, I met a snake in the 5 years’ hashing, and 30 seconds later, I met it/the other one again. Because it is the Phoenix mountain? For those who don’t know the connection between dragon and Phoenix, please don’t read the following lines, or you buy me dinner for the knowledge. If you read but do not pay on time, the debt has high interest, 100% per month. J In China, the dragon and the phoenix are traditional auspicious symbols, the principal pictures for wedding designs. We use Dragon, considered the mounts of heavenly deities, as the symbol of king and sage, and great excellent male, and Phoenix, being the “king of birds”, as the symbol for a queen and a great excellent female. When the dragon soars and the phoenix dances, the people will enjoy happiness for life, bringing peace and tranquility to all under heaven. Snake, in China, we also called them small dragon. How lucky I am: see soaring small dragons and Phoenix both.

 

If it is because we hash in Phoenix mountain, the small dragon shows up, please do not hash in the Phoenix mountain anymore. To have once of the kind of luck is enough for this life. If it is because of the mention of snake in the hash advertisement, then snake show up in reality. Please do not mention it any more.

 

Seems as, finally, the two hares, Globetwatter and Sir Cum Navigator, being notable for their long and hard trails, have the hares/emulator. The trail was long and hard too, took GPS’s 3 hours to finish it.

 

Circle Up

Now the GM, Double-0-Dirk, and the RA, Sir Cum Navigator, both are afraid the long-time circle. We had to start the circle earlier, no matter how many hashers were still on the way. By the way, when the circle becomes longer and longer, does it mean the hashers are getting older and older? Because when people are older, the time for mouth is longer.

 

Double -0-Dirk brought up the live hares Mark and Bastian for their Phoenix hash trail. And put Bastian on ice. Then it was the show time for RA, Sir Cum Navigator. Here is a part of the accusations:

 

  • Ø  Rambo: for her Hongkong Hash T-shirt. Because it was so ugly in Sir Cum Navigator’s eyes. Is it true that don’t show some good things before those who can’t have? For they will make you think it is bad and persuade you don’t have it.
  • Ø  Mark, Gorf and Pascal: Easy 2 Lei, who first wore T-shirt in circle time, charged them for they showed their tits out for the girls. When nobody noticed what you were doing, in a smart way to tell them.
  • Ø  Hunkaspunk: Friday evening he met Cougar Bait and Pink Panzer, and Cougar Bait asked about the hash, well, Hunkaspunk talked of bullshit of next hash and just so-so about this hash. That made Cougar Bait stay at home to wait for next Saturday.
  • Ø  Pascal: during all circle time, he was sitting behind with a group of women, talking gossips. Lady man showed up in hash.
  • Ø  Globetwatter, Sir Cum Navigator, Double-0-Dirk and Constipation: they had done at least 6 hares in this year, and got special shorts for their contributions to GZ hash.
  • Ø  Bastian: after had several beer baths, finally the icing-time was long enough. Guangzhou Hash Religious Adviser, Sir Cum Navigator sat beside him on the bus, saw he used a big mobile with huge screen. Well Bastian said:” when you are at my age, you get conscious about SMALL things.” Then that made the Religious Adviser draw the Cross on his forehead with the cold beer, and offered the ice water baptism, announcing” since now, whenever hashers meet in future, he is known as WEE WILLY.” Bastian came, Wee Willy left.

 

On On

 

T . T

 

#1175 – The Literate Hash

Hash #1175—green-life hash

If you missed the hash 1175#, you lost the chance to learn how to have an economical and green life.

 

When the bus set out to Panyu, the hash place was granted as Dafushan park. But it was not, it was a virgin hash place Dishuiyan (dropping water stone) park. A beautiful name for a place, it will take your longer time to arrive there, to let you have enough time to imagine the place, no matter you know the name in advance or after. But for Double-0-Dirk, the longer time is not for imagining the beautiful of the place, it is for imagining the smell of cigarettes. Long before bus stop, Double-0-Dirk was standing near the bus door, and the cigarette was in his mouth, he was waiting for the stop, rushing out to use the lighter, and inebriating in smoke.

 

On On

As Floppy Disk set the trail in the morning, he had enough time to set a lot of back-check marks and false trail marks. But as the economy crisis is still prevailing on this globe, as well the green-life style is in vogue, they both finally affected the hash– on the long zigzag up hill trail, there were no any flours spots while pioneers kept calling On On, (there was no flour, just keep going up –Floppy Disk)—no money to buy enough flour because of the economy crisis? Waste fewer flour/food to be in green-life? Great thing is one stone two birds. The hare Floppy Disk is quite wise.

 

But to take elevator to up and down is neither economical way nor green-life way, the right way is to take stairs to up and down. Do you still remember the feeling about taking steps up and down, up and down, for long time? If the answer is no, you definitely should be there, the hash #1175. Of course, the hashers who joined the #1175 know how to take steps now. If had put all the steps directly up, we could have been arrived at Moon.

 

Circle Up

As the tendency of Guangzhou hash: longer circle time, shorter hash time is becoming clearer and clearer,  we had to started the circle when the sun was still high in sky, GM Double-0-Dirk brought up the Hare, Floppy Disk, for the virgin hash trail. Then he brought up the Religion Adviser, Sir Cum Navigator.

Parts of accusations:

  • Ø  New comers: sexual tourist.
  • Ø  Floppy Disk: he found more than 1 hash trail in the DISHUIYAN Park.
  • Ø  Constipation and French tickler: they started to have beer in Mango Bar, ice not arrive yet, with their lunch. Now beer is good, no matter it is cold or not.
  • Ø  Double-0-Dirk: last Friday, seems as he and Angry Dragon have some good drinking in Mango Bar. But Angry Dragon asked Gorf (Frog) to take her home.
  • Ø  New shoes shows—3 times 5 hasher: Judy and her bf Gianni and her friend, first Gianni let hashers to smell his shoes to prove they were not new shoes. But he threw out Judy’s new shoes, well, Judy did everything to avoid it, but failed. Then as a couple, her BF did the show with her together. And it prostrated Constipation while Gianni happily drunk the beer in the shoe.  When Judy drunk the beer in the shoe, seems as it was a terrible thing from her emotion, but after she finished the drink, suddenly the beer in the shoe became dear, because she strongly wanted her friend has the same experience—share the good things with your friend, right? She tried hard to take off the new shoes from the feet of her friend.

 

Well, it prostrated Constipation when Judy’s BF drunk the beer in shoe, enjoyably. He got the chance soon, for Little Turd had new shoes too, as she was too young to drink the beer, the Dad and Mum was there, Constipation and Diarrhea, did the show.

 

On On

 

T . T

 

Mango Bar……….. Saturday…………….at 1:30pm, C……….U………. If you are not going to be there, say No on the bus.