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Hash 1133 Date: 3rd December 2011 Place: Dragon Cave (龍洞) Hare：Constipation & Hunka Spunk Weather: Sunshine Temperature: 3.9℃ ~18℃
Today Constipation & Hunka Spunk is the hares again.
Before the trail: Last Saturday Constipation & Hunka Spunk was probably setting the longest trail in 2011. So this Saturday they were supposed to set a trail as long as last Saturday. And our GM-OO Dirk even told today’s new comers before the trail: “if you got lost, help yourself! Find a bus or a taxi and ask for taking you back to Mango. Nobody will be going to help you today…”
On the trail: Today we started to run and walk at 3:20pm. The trail was not as long as we were expected and we finished the trail at 5:10pm. It is short but good exercise trail. Today we did not see Meatball and GPS on the trail and they were probably taking the short cut again.
On the circle: Our GM OO-Dirk brought up today’s RA-Meatball: New Comer: 12 new comers today. Returnee: GPS, Filthy Habit, Vanilla Rice etc. Meatball accused the hares to bring a good news to hashers that they had made a reservation in the restaurant and bring a bad news to hashers that their reservation was at 8 pm but now it was 6pm and there were 2 hours to go. Soggy Biscuit accused Hunka and OO-Dirk to present Platter Pussy’s gift: an orange T-shirt for Hunka but the T-Shirt size is too small for Hunka so it shows Hunka’s beer belly when he is wearing it and a green sweater with a German flag on it for OO-Dirk. Filthy Habit accused Soggy Biscuit to bring his colleagues to hash but did not tell them not to wear new shoes. ….
After the circle: We had an on-site hash dinner after the circle. ON ON Sunshine Hash 1132 Date: 26th November 2011 Place: Long Dong (龍洞) Hare：Hunka Spunk & Constipation Weather: Sunshine Temperature: 16℃ ~25℃
Hunka Spunk and Constipation is the hare this week and they are going to set a live trail today.
Before the trail: There were 54 persons joining the hash today and the bus cannot load all of us so OO-dirk arranged another taxi to take some of us to the hashing site. The bus arrived at the hashing site at around 3pm as usual. At 3:21pm, we start running and walking after the hares were away in 20 minutes later as OO-dirk said last time he gave the hares 15 minutes and they were caught up so he gave them 20 minutes this time.
On the trail: When we saw the first “checking” circle, we found out the flour dots were leading us up to the mountain. Meatball, the short-cuter king, thought that was a trick so he and what’s your name again did not follow the runners to go up to the mountain and wait under the mountain until the runners ran back… How smart they are! Today the trail was well-marking but it was a very and very long trail. At around 6:30, we, the walkers, were still walking in the mountain, the sky was dark already and we could not see any flour from the dark. At that moment, we could hear the dogs were barking around in the mountain… It was a really scare moment until PP & Hanna were showing up later. It is lucky that Hanna brought a torch with her and she had called her father, one of the hares-Constipation and her father told her that it was just 20 minutes walk left.
On the circle: When we went back to the bus, the circle had been nearly closed. So I cannot write down any details for the circle today except the following that OO-dirk told me: How many new Comers today? “13” Is there any returnee? “No!” Can you tell me any funny accusation in the circle? “It was a boring circle,” this is what OO-dirk told me.
After the circle: We have an on site dinner in LongDong.
On On. Sunshine Hash 1131 Date: 19th November 2011 Place: XiangXue Park (香雪公园) Hare：Sunshine, OO-Dirk & Roger Weather: Sunshine Temperature: 17℃ ~23℃
OO-Dirk and I are the hares this week so we decided to set the trail on Friday afternoon. But unfortunately it was raining while we were setting the trail on Friday afternoon. As a result, OO-Dirk had to set the trail again today with Roger. Then OO-Dirk & Roger will be the leading hare today and I will be the sweeping hare. The bus arrived at the hashing site at around 3pm. At 3:15pm OO-Dirk and Roger left and let meatball to give them 15 minutes ahead. At 3:30pm, meatball yielded “on on” and then we start to run and walk.
On the trail: The trail was well marked as we set it twice. The trail was medium long and it takes 3 hours for walker to finish the whole trail. Very good exercise! So it should be the best hash ever.
On the circle: Before the circle, OO-Dirk got Coco & Emily on ice for their naming today. Then he brought up today’s RA-Meatball. New Comers: there were 5 new comers: 1German (Cougar bait’s brother), 1 American, 1 New Zealand & 2 Chinese (1 from Shanghai & 1 Local). Returnee: Platter Pussy. OO-dirk accused Ramin & Papasan that Ramin had been named as “French Tickler” and Papasan’s daughter had been named as “Angelina blow me”. Soggy Biscuit accused OO-Dirk that setting the trail 1 day ahead and take 15 minutes before the run and still being caught up by soggy biscuit. Platter Pussy gave Emily’s hash name as “Titty Check” as she doesn’t believe Boxy Pussy’s Titty is real. Soggy Biscuit gave Coco’s hash name as “Coconuts” as her name is same as the name of Thumber Print’s dog.
After the circle: At first, OO-Dirk decided to have our hash dinner in Mengtian Village (孟田村). But when we got to the restaurant, the restaurant was full already ever though OO-dirk had made a reservation for us.
Then we had to decide to come back to town for our hash dinner. On the way back, Constipation received a call from Titty Check and then we found out we had let 3 hashers at the restaurant behind. So our bus had to come back to the restaurant to pick them up. At around 8:30pm, the bus got back to the town at last and we had the hash dinner at a Wunan restaurant near the Paddy field.
On On. Sunshine. Hash 1126
Date: 29th October 2011 Place: Dragon Cave (龙洞) Hare：Constipation & Hunka Spunk Weather: Sunshine Temperature: 21℃ ~32℃
Today the bus was arrived in the hashing site at around 2:45 pm. A few minutes later, our hares-constipation & hunka spunk left for today’s live haring.
After our hares left, our GM-OO dirk let me know that we would start ONON at 2 past 3. But at 4 to 3, our GM has let the walkers and girls ONON first.
On the trail: Today our live hares were bad luck and were caught up with twice. In addition, there were 10 hashers getting bee byte.
On the trail, when the walkers arrived at the first circle, the runners had caught up with the walkers. And I checked my watch, it was just 3 O’clock!! Which means our GM did not let the runners wait until 15minutes later and let the runners start ONON earlier.
After the first circle, we found out there were a long steps to step up in the right trail. At the beginning, when I started to step up the steps, there were some hashers who were after me, such as Meatball & hand solo etc. But when I had been stepping up for a while, I was sweating and breathing difficult. I turned around, I found out it was just Soggy Biscuit after me. Meatball and hand solo had gone already.
So when Soggy Biscuit had stepped past on me, then Princess sissy & Flashing snapper past on me, I did not continue the trail and went back to the bus as I was the last one again on the trail.
I was the first one back to the bus. Meatball & Hand solo were next.
At around 4:30pm, Soggy Biscuit and Roger were running back to the bus. And we then knew that Soggy Biscuit caught up with the hares on the trail and stole the hare’s flour to become our today’s new hare. And unfortunately, Roger also caught up with our new hare at the last minutes.
On the circle: Before the circle, Our GM- OODirk got Constipation & Hunka spunk on ice for being caught up on the trail and also got Pierre on ice for his naming today.
Then our GM OO-Dirk brought up today’s RA-Meatball:
l New Comer: 1 French, 1 English, 1 Estonian & 2 South African. l Returnee: Shoeless Ho & Hand Solo. l Meatball accused our ex-GM Shoeless Ho for bringing all kinds of strange MP3 device to the hash. l Meatball accused all those hashers for being gotten bee byte. There were 10 hashers in total. l Our ex-GM sir cum accused constipation & hunka spunk for being first caught up by Pierre and Sir Cum. l Our ex-GM gave a hash name to Pierre as “Glowballs”. ….
After the circle: We had an on-site hash dinner after the circle.
Also after the circle, What’s your name again, Papa San’s daughter and an Spanish girl then went back to the circle.
ON ON
Sunshine. Hash #1125
Change my point about Baiyun Mountain: always thought it was a small hill. After the hash, it is Baiyun “MOUNTAIN”. After GPS arrived at Mango Bar, he repeated again and again “you need good shoes” to different hashers. Well, Globetwater just said “it is easy and short.”
On-On After introduced the symbols to the new comers, Sir Cum Navigator just Answered more than once:”we should give them more time, do you want to catch GPS to have sex with him?” to “do we start now?” from hashers. Finally “checking now” was heard, and runners all went to the direction that the hares walked away. Less than 5 minutes, it was cleared that Sir Cum Navigator knew the trail quite well, no doubt, he was the third “hare” with a “hound” skin in this hash. The first “back check” puzzled all the hashers quite while, runners checked all the possible ways, though more than 4 great runners checked the right direction TWICE, no “on –on” was called, till some one crawled through a dog-hole. We all entered into Baiyun Mountain for free. “On- up, on- up” was always there, did we climb to Kashmir Plateau from Baiyun Mountain? The worse is the height climbed up was the height slip down, in very short distance. Without the steps, people have to have some help to climb up/slip down on that trail. For this reason, some trees were killed—people are too warmly to hug or shank hands with them.
Circle Up—the most special circle In the advertisement of the hash notice, the hares were proudly to announce to make “Meatballs to be weeping like a baby, longing for the end of the trail”. Do not race with Shortcut King on who is the one found out the shortcut easily. Meatballs, 99% to find the shortcut, showed up much earlier as hares thought.
When I back, after change clothes, circle was up, the first accusation (I heard) marked the circle very well: n Meatballs to Itchy & Scratchy: “to find the B point, you have to find the G point”. What happened to them during the hash? n BoxyPussy to the French lady Iwa: they wanted to see each other’s tits??? !!! During the accusation, they raced who was the best to take off clothes. It made GM Double 0 Dirk announce it was the best accusation he ever saw. n Sir Cum Navigator to Double O Dirk: he and Globetwater was in HK to accompany their two boys during the semi-final race of Rugby. Then he missed the live show, to get the live feeling when watching downloads, he avoided TV, Newspaper, Magazine…. But miserably, he checked email: a score notice of the race from Double O Dirk!! Who knew he missed the race and kindly notice him the result!!! n Sir Cum Navigator to the French Lady Iwa: the final race would between New Zealand and France. Sir Cum Navigator showed his traditional sing and dance, while Iwa was lazily swaying her bottom. n Boxy Pussy to thumbelprints and Whorenando: during the circle, Thumbel and Whorenando were playing something, it made Boxy claimed they both haven’t have sex for long time.
By the way, did the hasher men really love the sexy circle? Made them thirsty while no water at hand?
On On
Titty Tattle Hash 1124 Date: 15th October 2011 Place: Face plant Square Hare：OO-Dirk, Soggy Biscuit & Johan Weather: Sunny Temperature: 19℃ ~29℃
Today we have another perfect weather for our hashing as it is a clear and sunny day. But last Thursday our full moon hashers were not as lucky as we are today. On last Thursday night, the red rainfall warning signal was hoisted during our full moon hash time. So I talked with OO-Dirk about that, when I was in Mango. OO-Dirk told me when they were having the full moon hash dinner in Thursday night; their feet were in the water.
On the trail: The bus arrived at the hashing site at around 3. In the hashvertisment we received on Friday we were told today’s hares were OO-Dirk & Soggy Biscuit. But when we were in Face plant Square, we found out today’s hares were 3 hashers, who includes Johan in addition to OO-Dirk & Soggy Biscuit. Today’s trail was not marked clearly. There were too many circles on the way to let us get in the traps always and cost us our times to find the right way. So we started the run at 3:30pm and finished it at 7pm, when the sky was dark already. When I was back to the circle, Constipation told me he nearly caught up with the hares. “Who do you nearly catch up?” I asked him, “The 3!” he answered
On the circle: Today’s circle is the shortest circle during the GZ hash history and it just took us half an hour to finish as we were so tired and hungry after the long run. During our circle time, our RA-soggy biscuit is in the mountain to search the missing hashers-Flashing snapper and Matthias. So today’s RA was our GM-OODirk. Before the circle, he got Yo on ice for his naming today: New Comers: there were 3 new comers: 1 Italian, 1 Local & 1 English. Returnee: there were 7 returnees in totals. OO-dirk accused Hunka and Rene that they had a “slim” tummy in common. Soggy Biscuit accused Superdick for wearing new shoes and get him to drink out of the new shoes. But later Boxy pussy also accused Soggy biscuit for saying he like the new shoes when he found out Superdick wearing new shoes so soggy biscuit also drank out of the new shoes. What a terrible hash culture it is! Hunka gave Yo a hash name as “Papa San”. As we known, Yo is an outdoor activity organizer but on Hash we don’t like his job and we like he bring his beautiful daughter to hash so he got his hash name.
After the circle: We had an onsite hash dinner in Mengtian Village (孟田村). As it is another long run today, we were back to the Mango at 10pm.
On On. Sunshine. Hash #1121
“Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher” was back after Globetwatter back China one month ago. Just One month ago, in the hash 1118 advertisement, it was talking:” Did Aussieland turn Sir Cum and Globetwatter into cissies, or even worse into poofters? Are they still able to set a proper GZH3 run, or will the hash be nothing but just a stroll in the park? And of course, can we still call them Kiwis, a word that makes me think of battle-hardened, fierce looking warriors? Or do we have to call them Kissies from now on, a term that stands for Kiwis who have spent too much time with Aussies and can be recognized by their girlish behaviour?” But after they spent one month in China, the “Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher” was back!!! What’s matter with China, Globetwatter has to be the “Iron Lady” to survive in China?? !!! The hash trail was more than 11km on the abrupt and slippery slopes!
On-On: where is the “on on” calling After we picked up the hares. Globetwatter and Hunkaspunk, near the A point, Globetwatter announced that the hash would be easy and shot. But, when the Iron Lady talked it was” easy and shot”, for normal human being, better to think what’s the antonyms.
Just near the beginning, after the first “on-up”, a new comer already felt dizzy—couldn’t stand well and see anything. Well, it was just the beginning. So imagine how long and hard of the hash.
For the monkeys, the great hash runners, they enjoyed the hash very much, up and down in the trees. Soon they were disappeared from the normal human being. No “on on” was heard. The mainly sounds were from mosquitoes, there was definitely no alone time, even you just stop to drink a little water, the mosquitoes came to you, surrounded you. Some mosquitoes even came into your eyes and nostrils to remind you that you were not alone.
Circle Up The hash just let all the hashers thought one question: how to have the circle when the RA was lost? “where’s Meatballs?” “he must get lost somewhere when he want to get shortcut.” When Meatballs finally showed up, he received cheerful and warm welcome, and surrounded by the hashers, to know what happened to him. The truth was: he was swimming somewhere near the B point, and wondering why no one joining him.
Finally circle up in the dark, the GM Double-o-Dirk brought up the RA, Meatballs. Accusations, including, but not all: n New comers: there were 14 new comers. Of course, and always, most of them taking sexual tour. n The Hares: Globetwatter and Hunkaspunk n Meatballs to the hares: the hash trail was the same one of the Christmas hash of 2010, that chilly and raining day. “who will set the same trail?” Meatballs accused to the Hares!! What a great memory Meatballs have!!! Remember the things should be remembered and forget the things should be forgotten. He remembered the hash of 2010’s Xmas day, and forgot the hash #1120, just 7 days ago. If you have any memory problem, please ask suggestion from Meatballs. n Hunkaspunk to Meatballs: “Meatballs.” …… “Meatballs.”…… the only reply was silence. Meatballs went to swim again?? Only Hunkaspunk standing there as a lonely prosecutor, thoughtfully looking around, then focused on Sir Cum Navigator, finally down-down for accusing accusation. n New shoes show: a hasher, in the dark, I didn’t get who was the hasher. Anyway hashers found his new shoes. It was not a real new shoes show, it was a kind of show that the new shoes could be a cup for beer, because the hasher smoothly and elegantly put the shoe to his mouth and drunk the beer!!! n A new German comer: who, beautiful, stylish and attractive, have been in Longdong– where we have hashed many times–for 3 years, finally CUM to hash. By the way, when Sir Cum Navigator picked several graceful lady up to see who will be lucky lady chosen by Meatballs for night. She said she chosen Meatballs. Guys, do you want to be chosen by her? CUM to hash!!! n Americas: a new hasher, looked as a Vietnam soldier of America-Vietnam war. Did he will make some weak America flee away from hash?? n Beer Race: UK, American and Malaysian, 3 hashers laid down and closed the eyes, while each of 3 hash ladies behind each of them, pulling beer down to their mouth, the winner was the one who first finish the whole can beer. Surprised by the winner was UK!!
By the way, what happened to Cougar Bait? As a German, what’s the meaning of the beer to him? During the hash, he did drink any beer, though Pink Panzer was drinking beside him. He became a Chinese? Or he is racing to become the No.1 Bait, so he quit beer to keep brain clear to be the No.1 Cougar Bait?
C U @ Mango, Chinese National days, @ 1:30PM.
On On
T. T. Hash #1120– shortcut hash
Is the head decide the direction and how far you will go? What would happen when the shortcut king was the hare? When I arrived at the mongo Bar, Lazhiji complained that the hash was becoming less fun because hashers were decreasing. But the truth was more than 53 hashers joined the 1120# hash, only few stand spaces left when the bus headed out to a discussing aim. The driver asked where to go while our GM Double-O-Dirk was on the phone with the hares Meat Balls, where they were.
Shortcut On-On It would have been a great trail too for the #1120, if there had have skillful hares, or technical hares. The lead hare was shortcut emperor Meat Balls! The leader will decide where you are following to.
We had been there for great hashing several times, the AnyWay Foreigners Centers. We had several great hashes there in the past. Many hashes knew the places very well, especially some of the hares who had carefully checked the possible trails, including some co-hares of Meat Balls. A place we knew so well—but so many hashes got lost, not really following the trails. Even the experienced Soggy Biscuit, Sir Cum Navigator and Globetwater!! Around the bus, with cold beer, I heard Soggy Biscuit and Sir Cum Navigator, with Meat Balls, were discussing where the right trail was. And some hashers were talking to Meat Balls: it was totally the same trail as the trail before—have checking circle at the same places and kick out at the same directions!! Seem as everybody took some shortcut!!
The hash partner of Meat Balls, Handsolo, has steal the soul of Meat Ball. Who you stay with will decide who you will be!! It is true. Handsolo normally walked with Meat Balls, and followed him took the shortcut. When I was checking and following the trail around heavy grass, it was difficult to find the next flour. When I was confused where to go, I found Handsolo was standing some comfortable and flat road. He waved to me, and I thought he got the right trail. After I Joined him, he just walked on the flat road without minding where is the flour—just took the shortcut, never mind where was the trail. The next shortcut king is going to born soon.
Circle Up The GM Doubl-O-Dirk, brought up the blond girl, Kaisa, on the ice. Then he introduced the RA Meat Balls. it looked as the circle was open at the time its beginning. Accusations, including, but not all: n New comers: there were 18 new comers. Of course, and always, most of them taking sexual tour. n The Hares: Meat Balls and Whatäs Zour Name Again? n Hand Solo and his Son: do you get the meaning of “handsolo”? then there is miracle, how he became the biological father? n Kaisa: Soggy met her in Cave Bar, of course, and always you can meet other several hashers in Cave Bar. Kaisa told Soggy:”let’s go to my place.” n GPS: “are you going to get married?” “yes.” “where are you going? n Kaisa: after sitting on ice for around an hour, with ice-cold beer Spa, finally her Baptism time is coming. She predicted the time two hours earlier, when they, including Meat Balls, Chic Sheik and Kaisa, were swimming in the reservoir. Part of the dialogue was the following: Chic Sheik:” wow, that’s pussy.” Meat Balls:” no, no, pussy is warm, this is cold, it is better.” Kaisa:”well, you can put pussy on the ice, then you got cold one.” After the RA’s cold finger on her forehead and blessed her, she was cleaned by the ice-cold water. Kaisa was gone, Itchy & Scratchy was born. Whenever hashers meet, she will be known as Itchy & Scratchy.
C U at mango next Saturday. It is going to be Mother and Son hash. The hares will be …..
On On Titty Tattle Hash 1118
Date: 3rd September 2011 Place: BaiYun Mountain (白云山) Hare：Sir Cum Navigator & Globewater Weather: Rainy Temperature:26℃ ~32℃
As a result of some hashers joining the Nash Hash in Beijing as well as a rainy weather in Guangzhou, here came just 18 hashers joining the GZ hash today
Today our hares took us to a Military Directory Area, where is near Baiyun Mountain.
On the trail: The run was started at 2:45pm. (I did not join the run today and waiting on the bus instead.)
So at 3:55pm, one of our hares-Sir Cum ran back to the bus at first. Then in several minutes later, it is Soggy biscuit, OO-Dirk and Constipation ran back one by one, who are the first 3 hashers back to the bus. On the circle: Our GM OO-Dirk brought up today’s RA-Soggy Biscuit. Before the circle, our GM got GPS on ice.
l New Comers: there were no new comers today. So soggy biscuit accused OO-Dirk for a Down Down as OO-Dirk is the GM and he should take the responsible for no new comer today. l Returnee: GPS, Sir Cum, Globewater, Chic Sheikh, Hello Sailor and Fire in the hole. l OO-Dirk accused the hares for telling him before the run that the trail won’t be long today for the reason there weren’t many women today…… l Pierre accused OO-Dirk for France being the winner in a basketball match between France and Germany, as one European drink, and all European drink also; therefore Constipation and Hunka also join this accusation. l Soggy Biscuit accused Sir Cum Navigator and Globewater for being back 2 weeks ago but they did not join the hash last week as they watched the Australian Rugby Match last week. l In the middle of the circle, soggy biscuit also got Pink Head (Hong) on ice. Then when the circle was going to close and the hashers thought Pink Head and GPS were on ice long enough, Sir Cum let us know why GPS was on ice today as GPS made a proposal to his girlfriend recently and his girlfriend said yes….
After the circle: We had a hash dinner in a restaurant near the baiyun Mountain.
Before the dinner, Hunka asked me one table was an irresponsible table and the other table was a responsible table. Therefore which one I like to join then and I join the responsible table…
On On.
Sunshine. Hash 1117
Date: 27th August 2011 Place: LuoGang (萝岗) Hare：OO-Dirk & Soggy Biscuit Weather: Sunshine Temperature:26℃ ~35℃
Today’s hash is a live hash so today’s hare is OO-Dirk and Soggy Biscuit.
On the trail: Today’s trail is quite good and well-marking also. But it is too hot to run. So those regular runners change to walk today. For example, when there is a runner’s and walker’s split, hunka take the walker trail instead.
I found today’s walker trail was quite difficult. So as my experience, I found out the walker trail doesn’t always mean it is short and easy but it might be short but difficult sometimes. And On the contrary, the runner trail also doesn’t mean it is long and difficult always but it might be long and easy sometimes.
On the way, I saw Meatball, Hand Solo and what’s your name again took the shortcut. They did not follow the trail and turn back.
On the circle: Our GM OODirk brought up today’s RA-Meatball, before the circle, OO-Dirk accused today it is the best hash ever but it is the least attendance, which is only 15 hashers.
l New Comers: Lulu’s Mama. l Meatball accused what’s your name again that on the way he found a beautiful sunset and decide to take the photo shot. So when he took out his camera and got ready to take, then he found out his camera’s battery is no power. l Soggy biscuit accusedPierrethat he took the bus from TaiShan today and the bus passed Jiangmen but he did not join the jiangmen hash and joined the Guangzhou Hash instead. l OO-Dirk accused Laziji that when her boyfriend- Hunka was making accusation, OO-Dirk found Laziji looks she did not understand her boyfriend’s accusation at all and then OO-Dirk told her it was not just her but all of us did not understand Hunka’s accusation. l OO-Dirk accused Meatball, Hand Solo and what’s your name again for shortcutting but they answered with one voice immediately: No! l OO-Dirk accused what’s your name again for being the trainer for a halfMarathonfrom today. ….. On On. Sunshine. |
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