Guangzhou Hash – Run 884
Run 884 – HuangPu KungPu
The Heat is On!
After many weeks of mild winter weather and a cooler than average spring (blame global warming), the hashers of Guangzhou experienced their first day of what could be looked upon as the beginning of SUMMER! Hot weather (early 30s according to Shoeless Ho’s wrist thermometer) and a bright sun overhead promised tans for everyone. One thirty in the afternoon at Sportsman’s and still no crowd made the mismanagement fear a low turnout BUT ever the optimist, Pippy Uglystockings swore the loyal would show. And show they did as 2pm came rolling near. Soon there was a huge crowd in Sportsman’s eager to hash through virgin territory promised by Shoeless Ho’s brash advertisements and his haring effort with local hare God, Platterpuss.
Sex Fantasies & Dark Tunnels
Once the Hashers (all thirty or so) disembarked from the bus on a dusty village road not far from Huangpu, they were told it would be a good idea to have flashlights (torches to the 3rd worlders) on hand. Speculation soon circulated: were we going spelunking? Was Platterpuss going to offer free vaginal inspections? Would Sunshine finally impress all with her swallowing skills?? After an On On through farm fields and 1within the alleys of a village, hashers soon were going up a hill supporting a pipeline used by the SinoPec Oil cartel. Making sure there were no smoking hashers, they made it through in one piece and saw amazing views of wonderful Guangzhou/Huangpu countryside. The sun was beaming down in full force and the hashers were offered a pleasant respite from the heat by running through a kilometer long tunnel (no, it wasn’t Boxy’s pussy) that would soon host a new superhighway plowing through more former hashing grounds. After exiting the tunnel, the front runners went up another mountain while the laggers and wankers became totally lost and near death. Luckily sweeping hare Shoeless Ho managed to save everyone even though he did not manage to lose Sunshine. Down down down..
Competition, PussySniffer Jr. & New Names
The circle was conducted by guest RA Mudslut and GM Pippy Uglystockings in their usual harmless and Canadian way at a nice park called Long Tou Shan. Or so we thought until Pippy started getting vicious in her new Platterpuss-like ways. Returnees included such lost souls as Da Fei Ji, Prom Queen and Rolling Bones. Newcummers included a Chinese cop spying on GZH3, a Beijing white chick (Rachel) and her Kiwi friend Hong. There was an artificially red headed Aussie lad that immediately had veteran hashers calling him “Young Pussy sniffer” who didn’t know his own real name. I think it was “Ben”, as in Chinese for “dumb”. Sven/Anders again came in first (according to him) by sprinting in and touching the bus first. Poor guy just doesn’t get it. In honor of Sven’s athletic prowess and recent revelation of his martial arts skills in Kung Fu fighting, he was named by Mudslut and the GM as, forever in the future, “Kung Poo”. All in all, it was voted best hash in May.