On an amazingly sunny and clear day where skies were seen as blue (rather than muddy colored) and blazing white clouds drifted slowly about, 17 fear-no-heat hashers left Sportsman’s for what promised to be an adventurous day at G.I. Hill in Panyu.

Platterpuss, back after a 3-week hiatus from his gout attack, annointed Broken Hymen and Shoeless Ho as co hares for the day. Luckily no one thought to punish Platterpuss as it was a bad decision (one of his first) and the two idiots soon proved why…

Along the road to Panyu, the bus had to stop at the Horse Track to pick up Free Willy and gf Samantha as they were arriving from HK that day to watch England get royally embarrassed by Portugal later in the evening. DOwn downs were distributed and the bus proceeded on to Panyu.

At the park, Platterpuss and Pussysniffer were the co-hares for walkers and the running hares were OFF!!! Soon into the trail, it was obvious the two hares were directionally and mentally challenged as markings made no sense and they were still in view even after a 10 minute head start! Platterpuss, Bottomfeeder and Free
Willy headed off for their own hash under shade as the rest of the walkers and runners continued to follow the hares stupidly…

After about 90 minutes of going up and down G.I. Hill (or was it f-ing MOUNTAIN!?!?) Platterpuss and his English charges were heading back to the gate when they were passed by an electric cart bearing WuTheFuck, Boxy Pussy, Broadway Bitch and a few other runners that said they were hopelessly lost. How could that be??

After all hashers were reunited (some after having been rescued by the driver at the south gate), accusations flew to the hares for not knowing what they were doing (no shit) and having one point where there were five consecutive checks with NO further flour markings!

Two newcummers joined the ranks, one Tiaan from South Afrika and one girl from Guangzhou who’s name I’ve already forgotten (surprise). They were all amiable and fun. One returnee, Jennifer, didn’t quite seem to know what “masturbating” meant in the “Why are we waiting” song so she had to be called out and explained the hobby/sport of many guys very clearly in English and Chinese, much to the happiness of Wei and the locals milling about.

Well, after many drinks, it was revealed (since she was on ice since the beginning) that Wu The Fuck was on her 69th hash!!! To make the event more significant, Marios was asked to lie on the ground in front of WTF with Boxy Pussy standing over his face in her miniskirt (poor boy) to give everyone a lesson in what a 69 was, exactly! Much applause and groaning was heard.

MAny drinks later, the group boarded the bus whereas Tiaan was thoroughly shitfaced and looking like someone had dropped him on his head too often when he was a baby…

On On


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